i am completely useless. i am doing nothing with my life and it is making me feel like shit. i try to make myself wake up in the morning, if only to grab a book and relocate to the living room. but when 10 am comes, i can't seem to remember why that was a good idea, and i end up sleeping all day. i did make myself go running today, if you can call it that. i was a pathetic attempt and only made me feel worse about myself. i'm not actually depressed yet, just bored. but every other thought that crosses my mind is something along the lines of "you're lazy", "you're useless", "you can't even run a half-mile", i can't imagine it will be long before the depression hits.
can't wait. i need one of those jobs. please, universe?
in an unexpected act of decency, zack gave all my shit to matthew, who felt compelled to wake me up at 1:30 am to give it back to me. he gave me my 8 dvds and a mini-lecture on how not to date assholes.
duly noted.
and then he asked me out for saturday. oh, irony.
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